Books

Book That is Most Like Your Life

Day 12:

I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley

No offense, me, but if we ever resort to reading books that are a lot like our life, let’s just take a full bottle Vicodin and fall asleep forever.

Sloane Crosley does not write fiction, and for the record (in case she catches wind of me one day), I’m in no way saying the two of us are alike.  Though we’re about the same age, she’s a Jewish girl from New England, for one, and well, she’s a published author, for another.

This book of non-fiction essays doesn’t remind me of my life.  But her voice reminds me of my voice, and her attitude reminds me of my attitude, and probably if we met in real life, we’d secretly hate each other.

She’s one of the few authors who managed to publish something in her 20’s that isn’t completely idiotic.  Though Dave Eggars could also be put into this category, I even got annoyed/bored half way through his manifesto.  Sloane did not bore me, and managed to keep me laughing until the end.  My two favorite essays in this collection are of course the one about her experience at an all girls Christian summer camp, and her take on being a maid of honor.

It was refreshing to know that I haven’t been alone in my utter inability to connect to any and all things wedding.  And I’m married, for crying out loud.

She’s funny.  I like her.  Her writing reeks of the same innocent and humorous take on everyday circumstances that I wish I could summon within myself with more regularity.

30 Day Book Challenge, Books

Day 12: Book that is Most Like Your Life

I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley

No offense, me, but if we ever resort to reading books that are a lot like our life, let’s just take a full bottle Vicodin and fall asleep forever.

Sloane Crosley does not write fiction, and for the record (in case she catches wind of me one day), I’m in no way saying the two of us are alike.  Though we’re about the same age, she’s a Jewish girl from New England, for one, and well, she’s a published author, for another.

This book of non-fiction essays doesn’t remind me of my life.  But her voice reminds me of my voice, and her attitude reminds me of my attitude, and probably if we met in real life, we’d secretly hate each other.

She’s one of the few authors who managed to publish something in her 20’s that isn’t completely idiotic.  Though Dave Eggars could also be put into this category, I even got annoyed/bored half way through his manifesto.  Sloane did not bore me, and managed to keep me laughing until the end.  My two favorite essays in this collection are of course the one about her experience at an all girls Christian summer camp, and her take on being a maid of honor.

It was refreshing to know that I haven’t been alone in my utter inability to connect to any and all things wedding.  And I’m married, for crying out loud.

She’s funny.  I like her.  Her writing reeks of the same innocent and humorous take on everyday circumstances that I wish I could summon within myself with more regularity.

Confessions

What I Wouldn’t Do For a Free Meal and a T-Shirt

I’ve never been one to say no to a free dinner.  Or lunch.  Or breakfast.  Or coffee, for that matter.

What can I say?  I like to eat, yes, but I like even more to have someone else feed me.  When I imagine a monthly budget more flexible in the “entertainment” division, I do not imagine seeing more movies in a theater, concerts (like John does), or amusement parks.  I just want to go out to eat.  I would go out to dinner once a week if it was in our budget, just to have a break from my kitchen.

Apparently the word on this has been out, for some time.  I’m finding more and more friends luring me in to some volunteer position by beginning the conversation with, “There will be free food.”  It’s like they know I’ll say yes without even listening to the rest.  Because that is exactly what I do.

In college I actually pretended to be interested in attending Truett Seminary (twice!) because of their annual Spring visitor’s luncheon.  (Got two t-shirts too.)  I also signed up to be “adopted” by a family and continued to grace them with my presence periodically from my freshman through senior years because Audrey cooked dinner and I could come do my laundry in her garage.  It was wonderful.  I attended a ropes course training two weekends in a row, and then volunteered my services for the rest of the year at a camp for kids with disabilities because it meant getting out of the dorms from Friday night through Sunday and eating good old fashioned camp food.  (I believe some t-shirts were thrown in to this package as well.)  I might as well say it.  This little free food fetish is highly likely the number one reason I am currently a Baptist.

Our first church as a married couple?  The only one we even visited in Greensboro?  We got a card in our mailbox that said, “Join us at 10:15 Sunday for our Curbside Cafe of coffee, donuts, and other snacks.”  Done.

This leads me to my current predicament.

The YMCA’s Annual Giving Campaign.

About a month ago, a girl friend called (while I was cooking dinner, she’s that smart) and all I can remember from the conversation goes something like this: “…YMCA…there will be a dinner thing…you’d be on a team with me and Carolina…do you want to do it?”  Okay, so realistically, I heard dinner, and the fact that two of my friends would be there, and said yes.

Four weeks, two free dinners, a lunch, $50 and a t-shirt later, I have a stack of green and yellow papers (thick cardstock, to be exact), of people I am supposed to connect with, preferably face-to-face, tell my “Y Story” to, and then ask for money.

First problem: My Y Story.

Here is my Y Story: if you give money, it will support people who are on financial aid scholarships to be members at the Y.  People.  Uh, me.  In fact, every $30 dollars I collect, is another month my familycan currently afford the Y, which I will continue to patronize, at least two (but upwards of five days a week in the summer) to sit on a stationary bike or a couch in the lobby, read a book, drink some coffee, and give my children a social outlet that does not include me trying to do crafts with them at the kitchen table.

How does that sound?

Alas.

Second problem: Ask for Money.

Unfortunately, the majority of the people I hang out with on a semi-regular basis, are also sacrificing in the comforts department in order to stay home with young children, while their husbands are at the beginning of their careers (or still in school), looking at a lifetime of student loans, and wondering how in the heck the current rate for a non-degree’d babysitter can possibly be $10 an hour.

“Our” goal is about $200,000 this year.  Truly, this money is all used to support community members who would otherwise not be able to afford membership, a season of soccer for their kids, a week at summer camp, swimming lessons, or a support group for those with cancer.  Amazingly, none of it will build a new building, extend a parking lot, or construct a new sauna in the locker room.  It all goes into financial aid.  This is, actually, something I can rally behind.

Mid bite of my free catered pork slider, I did some number crunching.  $200K, divided by the number of YMCA families (not individual members) means that if each family gave just $33 this year, we’d have our goal.  That actually seems doable.

John and I gave.  Even in the last few months of our financial assistance, we agreed that we could afford a gift.

So now I just have to figure out how to pass this little nugget along to that stack of card stock still sitting in my desk, calling me to get on the ball.

Books

Book From Your Favorite Author

Day 11:

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

This was a tough category, because it is difficult for me to say I have a favorite author.  Ironically, Eugenides has only published three novels, and of them, I’ve only read this one.  I loved this book so much though, that I’m feeling confident that when I get around to reading The Virgin Suicides and The Marriage Plot, I’m going to enjoy them.

As a pretty big reader and an English teacher, it is weirdly difficult for me to find books, outside of classics or things I read in college, that strike me, on their own, as good literature.   Middlesex was the first novel that did this since The Brothers K (read about seven years earlier).  Aside from the obvious controversial plot, this is a book that I would love to teach to the right class one day, if I thought I could get away with it.  Essentially, it is about a hermaphrodite named Cal, who is raised as a girl, but comes to realize at about fifteen that he’s probably a boy.  Cal’s story is interwoven with the complete stories of his parents and grandparents.   This book contains a complex plot that mixes (some ancient) Greek culture and humor with a modern-day medical phenomenon as well as the resulting cultural and identity issues.  It was the first book in a long time that I could not stop talking about while reading it and for weeks afterward.  (Thank goodness I was teaching public school at the time.  I cannot imagine how the administrative sit-down would have gone if this book was my main topic of interest the year I taught in a private Christian school.  Actually.  I can imagine it.  Let me just say thank goodness, again.)

30 Day Book Challenge, Books

Day 11: Book From Your Favorite Author

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

This was a tough category, because it is difficult for me to say I have a favorite author.  Ironically, Eugenides has only published three novels, and of them, I’ve only read this one.  I loved this book so much though, that I’m feeling confident that when I get around to reading The Virgin Suicides and The Marriage Plot, I’m going to enjoy them.

As a pretty big reader and an English teacher, it is weirdly difficult for me to find books, outside of classics or things I read in college, that strike me, on their own, as good literature.   Middlesex was the first novel that did this since The Brothers K (read about seven years earlier).  Aside from the obvious controversial plot, this is a book that I would love to teach to the right class one day, if I thought I could get away with it.  Essentially, it is about a hermaphrodite named Cal, who is raised as a girl, but comes to realize at about fifteen that he’s probably a boy.  Cal’s story is interwoven with the complete stories of his parents and grandparents.   This book contains a complex plot that mixes (some ancient) Greek culture and humor with a modern-day medical phenomenon as well as the resulting cultural and identity issues.  It was the first book in a long time that I could not stop talking about while reading it and for weeks afterward.  (Thank goodness I was teaching public school at the time.  I cannot imagine how the administrative sit-down would have gone if this book was my main topic of interest the year I taught in a private Christian school.  Actually.  I can imagine it.  Let me just say thank goodness, again.)

Books

Book That Changed Your Life

Day 10:

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

I first read this version of the book in 7th grade, which could easily be categorized as a year that changed my life, as far as reading goes.  I had one of my best English teachers of all time that year.  Not only did this man change the way I looked at literature, but eleven years later, he would change the way I approached teaching literature.

I was chastised by my first principal in every single teacher evaluation for my first year of teaching about reading books aloud to my class (while they followed along).  Half-way through my second year I think his comment was something like, “You know how I feel about the reading to your students thing, but something seems to be working in your classroom so I’ll just leave you alone.”

Probably, this version of this novel was way too hard for an average 7th grader.  I actually ended up teaching it to one class of honors sophomores, and many of them had difficulty giving it a fair chance due to the language (so many French names) and length.  But I don’t remember having a difficult time with it.  I don’t remember disliking anything we did that year, because this teacher was so phenomenal.  (Or because I was such a dork.)  Les Mis still makes me cry every time I read it.  I saw the musical on Broadway and bawled through the entire thing.

I actually think an evangelist might have an easier time using this book over the Bible to explain unconditional love to an atheist..

I think I decided to become a teacher in 2nd grade, and of course, at the time, assumed I’d teach elementary school.  One summer during college, I re-read Les Mis.  I changed my entire idea (though not my elementary-ed major) and decided I would teach high school English.  This book, and the teacher who originally introduced me to it, had almost everything to do with my decision.

30 Day Book Challenge, Books

Day 10: Book That Changed Your Life

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

I first read this version of the book in 7th grade, which could easily be categorized as a year that changed my life, as far as reading goes.  I had one of my best English teachers of all time that year.  Not only did this man change the way I looked at literature, but eleven years later, he would change the way I approached teaching literature.

I was chastised by my first principal in every single teacher evaluation for my first year of teaching about reading books aloud to my class (while they followed along).  Half-way through my second year I think his comment was something like, “You know how I feel about the reading to your students thing, but something seems to be working in your classroom so I’ll just leave you alone.”

Probably, this version of this novel was way too hard for an average 7th grader.  I actually ended up teaching it to one class of honors sophomores, and many of them had difficulty giving it a fair chance due to the language (so many French names) and length.  But I don’t remember having a difficult time with it.  I don’t remember disliking anything we did that year, because this teacher was so phenomenal.  (Or because I was such a dork.)  Les Mis still makes me cry every time I read it.  I saw the musical on Broadway and bawled through the entire thing.

I actually think an evangelist might have an easier time using this book over the Bible to explain unconditional love to an atheist..

I think I decided to become a teacher in 2nd grade, and of course, at the time, assumed I’d teach elementary school.  One summer during college, I re-read Les Mis.  I changed my entire idea (though not my elementary-ed major) and decided I would teach high school English.  This book, and the teacher who originally introduced me to it, had almost everything to do with my decision.

Books

Book that Made You Sick

Day 9:

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston

If you ever saw the movie Outbreak I believe it was based on this book.  This non-fiction account of an Ebola breakout in North America opens with a man puking up thick black blood clots on a plane.

Yes.  Gross.

I didn’t think I would actually enjoy this book, such subjects are usually of little interest to me, and as I often read before bed, I’m not especially keen on pre-dream images of nastiness.

John actually recommended this book within the first three days of knowing me.  As my trainer at Eckerd, he suggested that reading to kids before bed was one of the best ways to establish a good night time culture (he was right) and that every camp kid loves this book (he was right again).

I pretty much did everything John told me to do that year of life in delinquent ridden woods and I credit every ounce of my success to his advice and support.  (I’m sure he does the same for me, currently.)

Anyway, this was a gross book, but I ended up enjoying it.  This is probably due to the reaction of ten teenage boys who were going on six week stretches of no connection to the outside world.  They ate this book up.

Other books that typically “make me sick” the first time I read them are most books having to do with WW1 or WW2.  Included in this list are Night and All Quiet on the Western Front.  I can say after teaching both, multiple times, I am now over that feeling I initially got in the pit of my stomach at the descriptions of carnage and death (which, in both, is mild and very well done, on a literary level), but generally speaking, I’m not a big fan of reading about the same stuff that I can’t watch on TV.

30 Day Book Challenge, Books

Day 9: Book that Made You Sick

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston

If you ever saw the movie Outbreak I believe it was based on this book.  This non-fiction account of an Ebola breakout in North America opens with a man puking up thick black blood clots on a plane.

Yes.  Gross.

I didn’t think I would actually enjoy this book, such subjects are usually of little interest to me, and as I often read before bed, I’m not especially keen on pre-dream images of nastiness.

John actually recommended this book within the first three days of knowing me.  As my trainer at Eckerd, he suggested that reading to kids before bed was one of the best ways to establish a good night time culture (he was right) and that every camp kid loves this book (he was right again).

I pretty much did everything John told me to do that year of life in delinquent ridden woods and I credit every ounce of my success to his advice and support.  (I’m sure he does the same for me, currently.)

Anyway, this was a gross book, but I ended up enjoying it.  This is probably due to the reaction of ten teenage boys who were going on six week stretches of no connection to the outside world.  They ate this book up.

Other books that typically “make me sick” the first time I read them are most books having to do with WW1 or WW2.  Included in this list are Night and All Quiet on the Western Front.  I can say after teaching both, multiple times, I am now over that feeling I initially got in the pit of my stomach at the descriptions of carnage and death (which, in both, is mild and very well done, on a literary level), but generally speaking, I’m not a big fan of reading about the same stuff that I can’t watch on TV.

Books

Book that Scares You

Day 8:

The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears

Bracing myself for backlash, argument, possibly even anger.

For the record, let me say that I have not actually read this book and I probably never will.  The concept of “Attachment Parenting” as a parenting philosophy, by itself, isn’t what scares me.  In fact, of the eight principles which define it, there are actually a couple I agree with.

The book itself isn’t scary.  The ideas presented in the book are not, at face value, terribly unhealthy.  What scares me is the growing group of extremist attachment parents, who cite this book (and many others, like it) almost scripturally, as the foundation for their non-confrontational style of parenting.  What I’m seeing, through observation and experience, is households where the line between grown up and child does not exist.  Households where the children are in complete control, of everything, from eating and sleeping schedule, to food choice, to who’s in charge.  What I see is tired mothers.  Physically and emotionally worn out women, who wake up every morning wondering if today will be a good day or a bad day, as if such a concept is completely out of their control.  Many of these mothers have put their own lives on hold because they cannot perform simple tasks, like showering or grocery shopping, if their children are awake.

Simply put, Attachment Parenting, taken to an extreme, has taken the authority and control out of the hands of moms and dads and put it in the children.

People.  This is scary.

I subscribe to the parenting philosophy that it is my job to provide physical, emotional, and yes, dare I say it, schedule boundaries for my children.  I do not believe my child instinctively knows what is best and healthiest for her (trust me, both my kids would pick candy and TV over every other option, including a lifetime of unconditional love, if the choice presented itself).  I believe there is an age when it is actually counter-productive and unhealthy to immediately respond to crying.  And, I admit, my marriage would severely suffer if John and I shared our bed with our daughters.  But that’s just me.

When my daughters were infants (and even a little older), I even adhered to many of the eight basic principles of Attachment Parenting.  This is pretty obvious, infants can’t do anything for themselves, except suck, and many of them come out having trouble with that.  What I’m seeing is an increase in mothers who, by the time their children are three…four…nine years old, complain of “control issues,” “constant temper tantrums,” “he won’t eat anything but cheese,” or “bedtime is a nightmare,” and the resounding battle cry, for all of them, is, “Please tell me it’s just a phase, and this too shall pass!”

There has to be balance.  And boundaries.

Dear mothers: do you let your friends hit you in the face when they are angry?  Do you let your husband yell over you when you are trying to have a conversation with another adult?  Then why do you let your three year olds do this?  Will you continue to rock him to sleep, or, sleep on the floor of his room when he is in high school because it soothes him?  Then why do it for your five year old?

As a high school teacher who might be back in the classroom about the time most of these preschool kids are 9th graders, this scares me.  I believe that Attachment Parenting, in the wrong hands, will raise a generation of adults who are unable to think and act independently, let alone make decisions that take into consideration their place in society as a whole.

I know for a fact that I have offended someone today.  As a quick disclaimer, I want to say this: Attachment Parenting is not for me.  Maybe it is the best choice for some.  Perhaps, as with Mother Theresa, when patience and love overflow at a sainthood level, Attachment Parenting can work at an exclusive level.  I even believe that it is possible for children of prudent attachment parents to turn out well-adjusted, well-behaved, and generally pleasant to be around.  I’m just skeptical of extremes, and even more skeptical of parenting trends that come with their own support groups.